Sunday, December 30, 2012

A Comment

Although I will never be able to comprehend the events in CT, I was given this link, and it has helped me immensely in processing it all.  I think it will help you too.  There are, unfortunately, some events that happen throughout our lives, that we just cannot understand why.  Columbine, hurricanes, earthquakes, cancer to name just a few.  As we close out this year, 2012, may we understand that God is sovereign.  I feel safe knowing that it is He who is in control when I lay my head down to sleep at night.  He knows the very hairs on my head, and he weeps when we weep, and I believe, wants to give me and you abundantly more than we could ever think or imagine.  He knows what is best for us.  We just have to believe that and let Him lead.  I believe the word is TRUST.  May we all TRUST him more in 2013.  Happy New Year. 

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Post Christmas

I continue to be astounded by the events in Connecticut.  I should not be.  Evil is all around us.  Webster defines evil as:  morally wrong or bad; wicked. Harmful, unfortunate; disastrous.  Evil intention.  Injury.
Why am I surprised by this?  After all it does say in John 16:33, "in this world you will have trouble."not if or maybe.  Will.

Perhaps it is because children were involved.  Defenseless, innocent lives.  
I take great comfort in the verse in 2 Corinthians 4:16.  "do not lose heart..we are renewed day by day..for this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, we look not on what is seen, but what cannot be seen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal."

At Christmas, I was reminded of what I believe:

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth.  I believe in Jesus Christ, his only son, our lord.  He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary.  He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.  He descended into hell (the grave)
On the third day he rose again.  He ascended into Heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the father.  He will come again to judge the living and the dead.  I believe in the holy spirit, the holy catholic church the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting.AMEN.

Christmas was wonderful.  I got to be with family.  We played a great new game that made us laugh and have memories.  We had to put 5 nouns apiece in a box, and had to act them out...girls against the guys.  Very funny.  My name got in the mix about 3 times and each time, it was guessed quickly...they mimicked my mannerisms and won every time.  Hmmmmmm.....we ate too much and laughed lots.  I am grateful.
My babes know how to get to my heart.  I got a blanket with pictures of them all over it.  I cried.  No surprise there!
I was given Turkish delight this year.  A gift that is quite labor intense.  It is the sweet temptation that overwhelmed Edmund in the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe...evil....the white witch.  Thanks for the time investment Pam.  It is very much appreciated.

I hope you all had a joyous Christmas.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Earlier post

I eerily echo my December 9 post ...The Gift.

I have no words today to express such sorrow in the loss of life in Connecticut.

May the God of all comfort be with all those who grieve.  Amen.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Had to post this today.

On this 12 month, 12 day, in the year 12,
My husband told me he loved me at guessed!


Sunday, December 9, 2012

The gift

My mind is in a musing kind of place today.
The weather outside is picturesque.  It is narnia like!  There is a deluge of snow.  A winter wonderland.  Snow is glistening.  Wow!  Nature's gift.

I was given an unexpected gift this weekend.  Not the kind that is impeccably wrapped with glister put with anticipation under the tree.  This gift can't be opened.  It is the gift of transparency.

While we are out reveling in the wonder of this festive season, may we ever be perceptive to those around us.  Those who would just rather bypass the shopping malls and the Christmas programs and the gift giving.  Maybe just bypass Christmas altogether.
I know loss.  I have lived the loss of both of my parents.  I know what that feels like.
But I have never lost a child.  I can only imagine.  My stomache hurts just thinking about it, but some live with that inconceivable pain on a daily basis.
I am sorry.  Sorry from the bottom of my heart that there are those who are suffering in this insurmountable way.
I can only pray and say with hope that He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  Amen.
Revelation 21:4

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A new baby

My friend just had a new baby.
I can't wait to hold him.  His name is Max.
Just the scent of a new baby brings me back to my baby days.

One gift I always give for new moms is the book Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.
It really impresses me that this author, a male, gets being a mommy!

The saying over and over in the book is so "mommylike."

"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."

My favorite part of the book is when she goes into the room of her child, who is sleeping soundly, and picks him up and rocks him back and forth.
That was me!  Guilty.  I did that more times than I would care to admit!
Now that my "babies" are older, I am so thankful I did that!  Drives the kids nuts now when I say I did that!  Their mother must be crazy.
Yes crazy, crazy about them.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Laugh for the day

I was certain she was desperate.
  My daughter asked this morning if I could drive her to class today.  She was still a little wobbly on her feet from being ill  over the weekend.  I jumped at the chance to help.
I am sure the moment we pulled out of the driveway, her memory was cleared of all haziness, and she regretted the request.

My kids detest driving with me.  They wonder how I got my license.
You know the type..Putting the blinker on at least a block before turning, letting up and pushing on the gas pedal, keeping  the speed just under 55...just to name a few.
We were on our way and soon were driving along the country roads.  I get easily distracted and I am not even using a phone!  Soon, the cars start passing.
She gestured with her hand to her head as if to say, "seriously?"
I just ignored her.  She made me understand that she had class at nine!

Soon we were just about to the university when she explained that I needed to just "follow the circle around."
"What circle?"
"You know...the round about!!!"

Round About.  Ugh.  I shun them as much as I can.  Someone put it simply to me today.."I drive 4 miles out of my way just to avoid those.".
You get the picture!   So, here I am with this child who already has made her opinions about my driving very clear, and I am rounding the bend, with her ducking below her seat trying to evade contact with the nearest pedestrian who is keeping close contact with this driver who clearly has not perfected this ingenious way of traffic flow.
Round we go,  missing our "exit" so of course we have to do the circle again.  What I can't figure out is as if this going in circles isn't daunting enough, they put decorations in the middle of this maze, which makes your eyes roam and you find yourself  going around just one more time yet again.
We make it to her destination, and she quickly disembarks from the vehicle and amusingly states to me that she feels like I just dropped her off in grade school for the first time.  I so badly wanted to embarrass her and get out and hug her and tell her to have a good day, but wisely retreated.

I had errands to run and was at the bank recounting the tale of the morning , the best being circling the round about.  It was worthy of the laughter that ensued.

To my friend John...did I ever thank you for driving in England?  Not only are there round abouts, but remember, they drive on the wrong side of the road!  You are my hero!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Chicken soup

I woke up to the sound.
  The , "in the back of my mind , buried, familiar , but don't want to go there" impelling sounds guessed it...puking!
Visions of earlier days, danced in my head , watching my offspring projectile vomit across the room. If I wasn't so disgusted, I would be impressed by the aim!
I watched in an overwhelmed state, tired, and wondering if this was a dream.
The ranced smell quickly aroused me, bringing me focused and ready for battle.
My husband was no help as he was theatrically making it clear that he would be of no use.

Oh the memories.

Last night I was really trying to reach  my now grown daughter .  I really was.  The walk to her room upstairs seemed especially long.  I was just being cautiously optimistic that I would not find a mess when I got to her!  Whew!  Relief.  She made it to the bathroom, but the mother instinct started, as my child was sick.
I get to pamper this grown up child all day.
The tray is full with chicken soup, crackers, 7up, her favorite toast, complete with a fancy napkin!
She probably won't admit it, but I think she secretly is enjoying the consideration and being tucked in under the warm covers.  I wonder if she would let me read her a story?!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

To buy or not to buy

The number is staggering.  500 million.  Can we even comprehend that much wealth?

And if we can, what would we do with it all?
First, we need to purchase the ticket, so we transport ourselves to the nearest convenience store dreaming of the ever so remote possibility that we will be the victor in this game of chance.

The ticket is acquired as we promise the clerk that she will share in the earnings that will surely be ours to grant.
We make our way back home, hoarding this seemingly priceless document in our greedy little hands praying, oddly enough, that it will make us a millionaire.
The daydreams begin.
What to purchase first...

A bigger house.  Yep, a justifiable first purchase.  A car.  Ummm...lets go with 30 cars, one for each day of the month.  Some land..not much.  Just some in every state.  Furniture for the bigger house, travels to all seven continents, about houses in each continent too?  Some new clothes for each of the seasons, you may want to buy the new Vikings stadium..(waste of money in my opinion, but hey, it's your money!).  A yacht complete with the help, a helicopter, a plane, heck, let's throw in the train!  A farm with lots of animals.  Goats, horses, sheep, cows, with again lots of help to take care of all of them.  Exotic fruits and vegetables every night to eat.  Why not eat like kings!
a 4wheeler, some snowmobiles, ski equipment, lawn equipment, on wings I fly with thoughts of things.

We rouse from our thoughts and verify the numbers.  Hard to believe that number after number is not on our ticket.  How can that be?  After minutes of denial, we yield to the reality that it was all just a dream.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The nest

My nest was filled to capacity these past few days, and it was grand.  The nest was well supplied with  food and mirth.
I, the mom, was full of contentment.
Just watching was pure pleasure.
I was whipped in yahtzee, but I didn't care.  I made their favorite cookies just because of pure nostalgia.
They went out with friends, and I worried.  Only when the headlights shined through the window, did I breathe a sigh of relief.  My endless, "you won't understand until you have kids of your own" just makes them on cue declare that I worry way too much.
If they only knew how much!

"what if...we had a guarantee that the people we love are experiencing exactly what they need in order to become who they're intended to become?  Further, what if we had a guarantee that others can be responsible for themselves, and we don't have to control or take responsibility for them?"

It is already time for this weekend to be over.  Back to tests and studying and making choices.  They have the map.  They will find their way.  I need to let them fly.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

An opportunity

I was mad.  Really mad.  The emotions ran amuck....Irritated, deranged, angry, and just plain sad.

Recently, something was said about my integrity that made my insides want to just implode.
I couldn't sleep.  I walked around the house talking to myself endlessly about how wrong this was.
I was officially making myself crazy.  Maybe this person wanted that, but now it was up to me.

How was I going to react to this inaccurate declaration?

The list was endless. I had nothing but time to think irrationally over and over about this one to get this person back....


I have space in it for quotes I come across that I want to remember...basically wisdom.

One simply states...
" Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut."

Wisdom.  Enough said.
Proverbs 12:18
"Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

I have much to reflect on and be grateful for today.  I think we all do.  Today is the day to soak all that in and just live in the moment.

My home is starting to smell of this holiday...yum!

Today is also the day a literary scholar...CS Lewis...passed away.  The exact day John F Kennedy died.  CS Lewis passed away quietly, as the world mourned a president.   I sit here, not really knowing what to think of that, except that CS Lewis left a legacy.
 He wrote over 50,000 letters in his lifetime, books that help us live our faith journeys with more wisdom, and a foundation in his name that brings together those who find themselves "home.".
I feel I am a better person having read his books, and although I love to write letters, I know I have not reached his total, but it is a good goal!

It makes me think today about the legacy that I will leave.

It is worth mentioning that while the world was mourning Princess Diana, another woman passed away quietly...Mother Theresa.

Monday, November 19, 2012

No ordinary man

As I sit at my table, I am being amused by his antics.
He is preparing pumpkin pies.  Says he needs to make two.  One for Thanksgiving, and one just to have for the kids.  I just chuckle.  He is in there concocting a popcorn snack, some chocolately divine dessert, and our supper.
The smells are alluring.

I think of how our kids have learned about life just by watching this husband of mine, their father.

On a day awhile back, our doorbell rang.  Our daughter answered, and it was my husband.  He asked "is Gail ready?"
She giggles and lets me know my "date" is here.
He hands me some daisies...he knows they are my favorite, and he whisks me away to an unknown location.
We arrive at the restaurant, and he proclaims, "I forgot my wallet.".   I state that I have money, to which he gasped, "I can't have you pay.  We will just run back and retrieve it."
We arrive back "home".
There we are greeted by a hostess (our daughter) asking, would you like a table or a booth?  "we will take the table with the view" my conniving husband responded.
We sat at a lovely table with a spectacular view of our garden!
It was time to order and he says, "let me order, I've been here before!"

During this week of giving thanks, I am reminded of the gift of marriage.  It has it's highs and lows, and is certainly not a perfect life.  Our kids get the privilege of being their father's children.  They are blessed.  I am humbled and by Gods mercy, I get to be his wife.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Living in the present

Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or your happiness to the future.
Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment "as to the Lord.". It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for.  The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received.

                                                               --------from, The Weight of Glory....CS Lewis

"today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.". Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.  What is your life?  For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead you ought to say, "if the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.".          James 4:13-15

Saturday, November 17, 2012


There is so much talent in this world.
I viewed much at the CS Lewis retreat.
I was reminded of that word...imagination.

Image.  We are made in the image of God.

We were entertained by one such "imagineer."
It is worth a look.

Go to ...gollum in oxford
It is on YouTube.  Almost "creepy" as one described it!  He impersonates gollum well.

Perhaps you may have met him at one time.  You see, he once was Pluto in Disney!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

A date in history

We all have one.
A date on the calendar that we will never forget.
Our wedding anniversary, the birthdate of our child.
A day that is seared in our memory that will never erase.

One for me is today, November 15, 2006
I write a lot in my journal.  As I look back on this date, I barely wrote about it.
I was scared, really scared.
My phone rang in the early hours of the morning that my sister was in the emergency room.  She had just suffered a brain aneurysm.
I remember thinking, "she is not going to survive this."
We gathered at the hospital and met with the doctor.  The news was grim.  He kept saying, "if she survives....if she survives surgery, if she survives the vasospasms, if if if.  Our heads were spinning.

I was shaking.  Those memories make me shudder at the thought of them.
We prayed all through surgery, and she survived.  We prayed for the next two weeks while she was in ICU.  I spoke with her during those days, and she and I promised things that one should never have to even ask of a sister.
The days passed slowly.  It was out of our control.

An only entry in my journal...
This burden is too hard.  Help me to let go and allow You to have it all.

I am grateful.  We witnessed a real life miracle.  My sister is alive and very well today.  It is only God's mercy and grace that she is here.  Even the doctors were baffled.  They have bluntly told her that she should be dead.  We serve a big God.
Thank you for sparing her life.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Baggage claim

It was a great weekend, but I was glad to be back, even if it was cold.
I made my way through the airport, and was surprised I had to take a tram to get down to baggage.
Still not time to just meander through the maze that an airport can sometimes be.

I made my way to the carousel and waited patiently as I watched bag after bag make their way into each owner's possession.
Round and round the mostly black colored luggages passed by tediously.  I thought for a moment, "how do these not get lost.".   The screen flashed, STILL UNLOADING.
I started getting restless.  Soon the screen blinked, UNLOADING COMPLETE!
Officially restless!
I do not travel a whole lot, but I have never found myself in this predicament before.
I looked around and discovered a small area strategically placed in a corner with a sign (not blinking) that said: baggage service!
This is a queue I did not want to be in.  I could tell others felt the same.
It had obviously been a long day for the person behind the computer, and if somehow one could crawl through the screen, I think one would have!  I am sure "amusing" would not be the description of  the job at that moment.
I made a quick mental note of what I had placed in my luggage earlier in the day.... Books I had bought at my retreat, all my makeup, and clothes.  Nothing valuable, and all replaceable.
I smiled and stated that it was looking like my luggage and I had parted ways.  The employee took my flight information and told me that I am handling this well!  We proceeded to check on the whereabouts of my bag, and it was stated that it was in Nashville!!  I was impressed by the ease of knowing where it was just by plugging in the barcode.  My bag would be delivered to my home the next day.  What else could I do except believe it and say "ok".  Strange to leave the airport empty handed.  I was thankful this was the end of my trip, and not the beginning.  I made myself a mental note to always put an extra change of clothing in my carry on.  One never knows!

My luggage did make it to my home, special delivery the very next day.  Even before the promised time.
Another lesson in kindness.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


Kindness:  a kind act

I was late.  In an airport.
Without a boarding pass.

I had learned much about this word in my retreat.  Kindness.
I know how to be kind..who doesn't?

I heard him ask someone..Do you know where a Starbucks is?  She showed him the way.  I knew the way...I had just been there myself!
No boarding pass, but I had time to get a latte for me!

Me, I ...God was talking to me and he was audible.

A man in a uniform, on Veterans Day.  An opportunity for a kind act.
I walked right past him.
"go buy him his drink.".  I kept on walking.  Really God, someone will surely buy him a drink.
"you will.". Said the voice.

I started to sweat.  But sheepishly obeyed.
I hurried to the Starbucks and said "sir, thank you for your service, may I buy your drink?"
He looked stunned and willingly let me.  He was grateful, and we parted ways.
 I will never know the power of that act, but I know I made my plane in plenty of time, and realized as I sat in my seat that I never saw a person in a uniform after that moment.  You see, one of my excuses was, " I will get the next one."

Monday, November 12, 2012

Risk:   To take the chance of.
This would be Webster's definition.

Mine would be described more as...impractical or foolish.
Otherwise known as CRAZY.
But here I am...BLOGGING.

I was given some advice  this past weekend about writing.  Quite simply said..blogging is key.

I spent the weekend at a CS Lewis retreat .  I learned much about this exemplary man of God.  Even more about myself.  
When i first arrived, I started to realize the intellect that was there.  Sweat seemed to start exuding from every pore in my body.  I ran back to my room, and decided it was better to stay  confined to the safety of my room, concealing myself  from those who surely would wonder why I bothered to come.
I journaled of all the reasons why I should leave immediately.  Screwtape was meddling.  I decided this was doing me no good, and decided to be courageous.  I really did not want to do it but strangely thought of Dory in the movie Finding Nemo..."just keep swimming swimming."
Yep, I was with the big sharks now!

I walked down the sidewalk and saw someone taking a picture.  Ok, safe.  I 'll say hello. She was so pleasant.  We walked in together and I met many others...the list grew all weekend.  These CS Lewis fans became fast and close friends.